That which matters will never change.

At most times we are caught up in heat and unable to process what we really are trying to say or to simply understand the literal words of others. So I write this post in hope you'd understand my hearts content.

I am and will always be here for you. I adore it when you would come and lean on me for support. I love you and more than anything I want to share your life, not just the ups but the downs as well. I want to sit down, listen to your problems and help you deal with them bit by bit. Yes I have other priorities and other things I am held accountable for, but for sure that doesn't change a damn thing.

Maybe in the life of others, those boys who come and go, those friends who diss behind your back, those people who try to use you the moment they deem you vulnerable. But not me, you are not a displacement in my life and what we have is real. I am not willing to share moments with you. I am selfish, I want to share all of it with you.

Certain things have changed, my perception of things, my perception of us and the things I take interest in. But I am still me and who I was was not a bluff. My way of expressing or the things I do or have taken interest in my differ, but my love for you hasn't. I've let go the past two times you called for an end. But that was never because of my lack of love or desire for you.

That burning passion never died. But the fact that I saw things from a different point of view, a view where I couldn't make you happy, I couldn't provide for you, that I couldn't be everything you wanted me to be and most of all.. so afraid you would hurt and break down again. It scared me so much more beyond your imagination.

I know when you look at me, your eyes may not meet the person standing right in front of you. I know till this very point, hope lives on in you for me to change back completely to the guy you are in love with. I accept how you feel towards me, I wont deny it and I understand. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about here. Though let me say, who I was was me and nothing close to a lie. Some may say it is the process of making this work, or learning to accept me for who I am, or getting acquainted to new parts. But frankly, I don't know.

But here is what I do know, there are new things we both are getting used to, a change you and I have agreed to take on together for a brighter future, me and you. It isn't easy and its burning us both. I'm sorry for the times I have failed you.

But no matter what it is, I wish you would share it with me and let me be a part of your problems. I want you to trust me and to know how much I love you. That a possibility of there being another is zero. I would always be there for you and no one would ever take your place, you are irreplacable b. There are no words that could be written to describe my love for you. I want to be with you always. Nothing is more important to me than you are.

While some things have changed, that which matters will never change. I am still me, the love and care I had for you is always permanent. I've said this a myriad of times and I'll say it again with the same feelings poured out, that I mean it when I say you are everything to me. I love you Chia Yen-Yi.