Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Warmness On The Soul.

She went through the effort and prepared a clue for each present she bought me. A paper each representing it's own meaning. The first one read NO MORE BALLS! Upon uncovering it, i found my girlfriend got me a pair of Nike shorts in pursuit of supporting me in going to the gym and losing my outrageously stacking fatty acids! :)

The next paper I received read RHYMES WITH BASKET! Never in my wildest imagination did I expect, she saved and forked out the money to buy me an original Armani Exchange which I do not know the price. But hey, it's Armani and I'm damn sure as hell it cost you an arm and a leg baby. I really love the wallet. Thank you so much.

And then came the last day, we went to BSC and she took me to Monte's for dinner! The place was lovely, a perfect place just for the two of us to indulge in each other. I went to the toilet and came back, sat down and suddenly paused, they were playing LOVE which was sung by my own baby herself! Then she revealed, how everytime she went out to meet our friend Yoke Han, for a supposedly yum cha session, they were actually rehearsing the song back at his place. And she went to the studio just to record that one song for me. That baby, was the greatest gift of all.

This is one of those moments which you wish you could just pause and would remain that way. Baby, you are the girl I love, you are the girl I want to spend my life with. I love you and I could not possibly ask for anything more. You are the best girlfriend a guy could ever find. It was such a bliss to have you around for my birthday dinner today. You completed it. It never would have been what it was without you. I'm lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much baby. You're the greatest! x

Your boyfriend,
Ian Koh

Monday, November 1, 2010

p.s.


please? ;(

Chia Yen-Yi


and don't you dare think otherwise. Now come here and give me a kiss!

Monday, October 25, 2010

I miss you and it hurts.

Let them say what they may, I love you more than anything else and that's something only I would know of. I hope it'd reach you someday.

We still have a lifetime together ahead of us so there is plenty of time. I want to hug, hold and kiss you each and every day as I cant make do without you.

You're beautiful to me for everything that you are. Don't ever change.

I sometimes wish I could have you right here with me anytime with just the snap of my fingers. Even just for a minute it's enough.

Right now, I miss you so much it hurts. I wish you were here to big spoon me. I miss your smiles. I miss your kisses. Get well soon baby, cause I can't wait to smother you :)

I hope you'll smile and be less stressed out, learn to take things more slowly. You'll always have me here to help you distress bi. I love you. x

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I miss your cheerful voice bii.

Take me in, let me be a part of you. Let me share your thoughts, your feelings, your pain, your happiness, your burden. Let me feel what you feel. Cause nothing else matters to me the way you do. Seeing you wear the bracelets once again really meant alot to me. I was all smiles and reminded of just how unique we both are. I can't wait to stay over your place again this week, I just want to spend my day, lying down and talking to you by your side. I want to hold you right now. I miss you and I love you.

x

Friday, October 8, 2010

Squeeze Me.

It has been a beautiful 1 year 11 months and it only gets better with you by my side. I love you in a way I cant quite explain, because no words or action could possibly define the amount of affection I feel towards you. I do certain things in a way we both cant quite understand at times, and though it may seem twisted, I have always kept you in my heart and mind at all times and that's something I know and live by.

I can take you for a night around the town, buy you a couple'a dozen of pink lilies, a box of your favorite chocolates and top it off with a lovely dinner and still, it all would not be able to sum up the love I have for you.

This may come across you and anyone else reading this post as insane, but how I wish man created a machine enabling us to enter the body of another, feeling what the other person feels, seeing what the other person sees.

You're nothing short of beautiful to me. I wish you could experience what its like to be me, to feel what I feel about you, to see what I see in you, even for a minute or two and I swear it would all go away.

Tonight, I want to hug you, kiss you and tell you how much I love you over and over again till you get so annoyed with me. Just to let you know how much you mean to me. You are no longer a part of my life but a part of me. And baby, you mean the world to me. I love you more than you can imagine and all that I am belongs to you bi.


Sweet dreams and goodnight. And yes, as you are reading this, I miss you too.
You are beautiful bi. x

Monday, September 27, 2010


Dear Ian,

I'm a hacker and I am in love with you, bi. Yes, you're the one. Mistakes were made, to reveal to me, what is real and what is an illusion.
Cliche, much?
Learnt it from you. :)

Muackx.

Yours,
Yen-Yi

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I am that handful you seek so much bi,
I do appreciate you very much.

You are so beautiful to me
that even you cannot understand sometimes.

I too want to help and watch you glow.

If your picture shows that of a glowing squid-like underwater,
then let me be the water that carries you through
and the darkness that allows you to glow,

because. I love you so.

I love you more than anything else.

I'd shed tears again and again everyday as I press my hands to my chest and watch you kiss my enemies as I wait for you to come back.
I'd pay a visit to 5 different places just to find a bouquet that best suits you.
The distance I'd go for you, I'd travel back and forth the same road for five six hours with no sense of direction just to try to get you to your designated place.
I'd drive out at 5 in the morning just to pick you home because I knew you were uncomfortable, all you had to do was say the word.
I'd stand out in the heat and the rain, hold my phone and call you for the next 2 hours without a stop in between just to hear your voice.
I'd stand in front of your house till past midnight just to tell you that I am sorry.
I'd knock on your glass door profusely for an hour till my skin tears and knuckles bleed but not stop, because I simply want to see you.

Please baby, please don't say that I don't treasure you. I treasure you above everything else and you have and always will be beautiful in my eyes. I would do all of the above again just to be by your side. I love you baby, and I'm sorry. xx

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dear Girlfriend.

Hey baby don't worry your pretty little head about it
nothing and no one is gonna change my heart
handed over to you what is most important to me
a feat I carried out and not a second have I regret it
you are the average 17,280 to 28,800 breaths of my day
not a part of my life but a part of me
in this beating heart of mine is where you belong
little do you know that what seems so much to you
is only but a fraction of what really is
nothing short of wonderful and significant
be rest assured as you can pull a smile and say
that you are no displacement in this annoying fool's life
a joke as you may make it out to be
but the fact is that you are my one and only girlfriend
and I love you very much Chia Yen-Yi.

Would you please allow me to help you carry your baggage?

Goodnight baby.
xx

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Chia Yen-Yi you mean the world to me. You are the best and I love you so. x

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Oh you're so sweet I'm gonna be diabetic ;)

SO! Today is a veryyy verryyy VERRRYYYYY MMM... WAIT FOR IT.... HAA.... HAAA... WAIT FOR IT.... HAPPY DAYYYEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So you ask why Ian? D:

and I say, BECAUUUSEEE! I have the sweetest girlfriend a guy could ever ask for. Chia Yen-Yi, you are the best and I love you so :)

Im sure you're all wondering what the hell I am going on about. Welllllll, let me fill you in!

See, a few months back, my girlfriend came over to my place and found my sleeping habits rather pitiful. I'd have three tiny bolsters which I'd hug to make up for the size of a big one! We've been talking about getting me a new one but I guess we simply never came around to getting one. So, my dear girlfriend decided to suprise me today by buying me my very own big bolster!






She even went through all the effort of making a special tag addressed just for me! But wait, there's more! Along with it, she prepared a card and gave me one of her very own bolster case, still smelling of her, to put it in to hug to sleep ever night. To be honest, the though of it makes me want to not finish this post and jump into bed with my bolster baby bought :)


That's the letter, sealed with the print of baby's luscious lips and her sweet-like pillow case! She never ceases to amaze me, the idea and concept behind her card was simply hmmmm.. mind boggling!

#1 This is how the card looks like on the front


#2 This is the inside of it


#3 When you actually bend the card the other way around, it reveals a different message altogether! Brilliant aint my girlfriend? ;)

Oh baby baby, here's the end result

All the wait for so worth it, the suspense, the 1 hour of agony you put me through. It all went away the moment I saw the bolster in my car :) I love you baby. There's no one like you. You're amazing. Now, time to jump into bed with my new girlfriend smelling bolster!

Just you wait till our 1year 9months anniversary. x

Yours only,
Ian Koh Xian Jian

Monday, July 26, 2010

Herman And His Martha.

Once upon a time in a valley far far away, there lived a young boy who went by the name Herman. Herman had a girlfriend named Martha whom he adored more than anything else. And every morning, Herman would make his way to class in his little toy car and everyday after class, he would run off to meet the love of his life. But this week was a little different from every other week. This week, Herman and Martha were both about to face their school's term paper at the same time!

Now on every other occasion, Herman would be the one to send Martha to and fro between her home and school. But Martha knew that her boyfriend had been burning the midnight oil for the past few days, living off coffee, striving to achieve excellence. Being the ever so thoughtful girlfriend that she was, Martha insisted that Herman stayed indoors and slept into the afternoon, saying that mother would pick her to class on that day itself, as she wanted him to have plenty of rest to recuperate.

So Herman slept, and slept, and slept.. and slept soundly until the very next morning. He awoke to a morning call from Martha. Herman had always loved waking up the the voice and calls of Martha. He adored how the morning would start off with a blissful good morning from none other than the woman he was so in love with. So upon saying their goodbyes, Herman dozed off to sleep once more. A half hour before Martha's paper, Herman slowly opened his eyes and reached out for his little toy phone and rang her up.

To his suprise, Martha that she was still stuck at home with no transport to school. Reason being her mum and dad were both unable to pick her at the appointed time. When Herman asked how she then planned to head to sit for her paper, Martha explained that she planned on catching a cab downtown to school. This left Herman feeling very, very cross indeed. Herman really loved his girlfriend and had always objected her taking such public transportation as he deemed it to be dangerous. He would rather drop everything and anything and rush to wherever she is than to expose her to such risks. And so he did.

As if the angels above themselves were controlling time at their pace, Herman managed to get Martha to school on the dot as scheduled. Relieved that they had made it in time and Martha did not get into a cab, Herman then made his way home to further study for his papers. Not long after, we find Herman in the school library, still burried in his books just minutes before his paper when he received a call from Martha. Martha told Herman her friends are her were going to spend their day in town and so she wont be able to see him till later in the day. Herman was sad, as he missed Martha very much and wanted to see her right after he had finished with his paper.

Before entering the hall, Herman gave his girlfriend a call just once more. As they continued to talk, the paper was about to commence. Herman said he had to go and bid Martha goodbye. Oddly enough, Martha did not want him to hang up, insisting he talk to her for a little while longer. Herman felt that it was weird of Martha to be saying this, as Martha has always wanted him to prioritize his studies, but he went along with it anyway seeing as to how much he missed her. As he talked and talked away, Herman heard a certain echo, an unmistakable voice from the distance.

Still unsure of what was happening, he turned around and gave a curious shot as he heard the familiar voice and her approaching footsteps grow louder..... AND! there she stood. Her unmistakably honey brown colored eyes, bright as ever. Her radiant smile that lit up every circuit in him. Herman was dumbfounded, stunned, amazed, shocked, WOW'ed, touched, moved all at once as he stood there in awe. Before him stood none other than his lover, Martha. She had bluffed him into thinking that she was out with her friends when she actually travelled all the way across town just to hug and wish him goodluck before he sat for his papers.

And that moved Herman in a way words itself could not describe, except that it was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for him. They kissed and hugged and laughed. Martha was amazing, she was everything Herman and any other guy could ask for. After all was said and done, Herman turned, a smile across his face, he was once again reminded, how very lucky he was, to be in love with a woman such as Martha herself, the best girlfriend in the world. And that day.. Herman walked into the hall with an air of confidence and completed his entire paper, smiling throughout the whole time.

Now what if I told you that the story of 'Herman And His Martha' was actually true? What if I told you that a person as sweet as Martha really did exist? That the boy named Herman was actually Ian Koh Xian Jian and that his girlfriend Martha, was actually Chia Yen-Yi. Would you not agree, the she is the sweetest, most wonderful girl a guy could ever deserve? Herman was more than contented, all he'd ever wanted was to be by her side. He was happy as can be. He loved his Martha with all his heart.

Goodnight dear readers.

- The End

Saturday, July 17, 2010

$$.SticksandStones.Telephone.ILoveYou.

No 1.
You are NOT going to spend all your money on me

You will not work during the holidays.
You will not stop drinking Java Chips.
You will not start saving on foods.
You will not berjimat-cermat on things.
You will not quit giving money to charities.
and
Yes you will work out on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays but with me :)

I state all the above simply because I love you and I do not want you to overspend on me unnecessarily as how you would feel if I did the same. You have given me one of the most amazing gifts possible already, yourself.

No 2.
Here's a sub-story entitled 'Sticks and Stones'

Now when mentioned sticks and stones, in my mind I see multiples of you and I. You're the sticks, slim and fragile like that, while I am the stones. Round, hard headed and never moving! Do you agree with me? I'm pretty sure you do. loves.

No 3.
I really miss you like crazy, especially at times when you're not here with me. So when I miss you, I tend to call you. So when I call youuuu.. PLEASE PICK UP THE PHONE BI :)) heheee.

No 4.
I LOVE JENN CHIA YEN-YI
X


Ian.K


Sunday, July 4, 2010

4/7 :)

And she said yessss! :) We are finally officially together once again! It was amazing to hear you utter those words. Im glad you're finally ready. I guess you brother is right.. miracles do happen, I love you babe.

And boy, did you give those judges something to take a shit and have a long think about. No matter what, you will always be a winner to me. You're beautiful.

It's still so surreal to me and it will always be. I look at you and i think about how we were when we first met, back then when I would use to look your pictures up online. HAHA stalker'ish maybe, but that's how much I liked you! Jumping a year and a half into the future, you're here beside me holding my hands, playfully slapping me and seriously tickling me half to death. I cant imagine it without you here, you're what sets everything into place in my life.

I never after everything, thought you could feel the same way again for me someday. And to watch you walk out the door smiling at me everyday, is something else I cannot get over. It always gets me smiling whenever I think about it.

Here lies another great story I have for you peeps. So baby and her friend Joseph decided to head from after their play in Assunta High School when SUDDENLY, they discovered what happened to be a flat tire, specifically the right front tire of Joseph's Waja. An hour and a half we spent, wrenching and jacking his car and its bolts but to no avail. Only upon the arrival of Joe's friend Ben, did we manage to change the tire successfully. After that took baby for carbonara at Murni's and then home :)

I conclude as of today, I learned the way to chance a car tire hands on! Now as for the most important part of todayee..

PUT NEW TISSUE BOX IN CAR THE NEXT TIME I LEAVE MY HOUSE


nuff said. I'm so sorry baby. I'll make it up to you. S2

From your boyfriend,
Ian Koh Xian Jian

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

As I promised you.

As we were on the road today, I could not help but to notice the number of each Honda motorbike we had happened to pass by. No, not just any Honda bike cruising down the streets. The Honda Boon Siew EX5 Dream to be exact.

This one

Get the picture now? :)

As a kid, my uncle used to take me on one of these back in Malacca. He would ride us down to the nearest store and buy me a couple'a bottles of my favourite 'kiam kiam' (a sourish sweet I used to eat in my childhood days). Though they may be old and ancient, I find it amazing how these machines can still be found roaming about the streets of Kuala Lumpur in massive numbers. One thing they all have in common - they all make the same 'put-put-put-put-put-put-put' noise as the whole bike sorta jerks alil as it comes to a halt. With its ever so classic look, it is almost impossible to miss this bike as you come across one. After all these years, I personally feel the Honda Boon Siew EX5 Dream IS without a doubt, Malaysia's most classic and legendary motorbike to have ever been embraced by our country.


Tabik hormat Honda Boon Siew EX5 Dream.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

A story for you to read.

Each time you draw open the curtains, you flash me a broad smile showcasing your front row of teeth, your eyes go wide and then you start to smile sheepishly as you make your way towards me. And then I also see how your inner eyebrows curve upwards and your eyes slowly take the shape of an O as you hug and slowly look up at me by the front of your gate. You didn't need words, your eyes always has a way of saying everything. The signals, my heart pains. The fact that I have to leave and walk away. But it also shows me just how much I mean to you and that never ceases to make me a happy, like a boy whose mother buys him a new ice cream after he dropped his first one. And that makes it all the much better. And though it is so hard to walk away, I always know that I will see you tomorrow, the day after and the next day and the next and the next after the next and the list goes on foreverrrrrrrr! Baby I want you to know that too. Its all still so surreal. 5 more months to go and we would've made it to our 2nd year. Time really does fly. Boy, I cant wait. What do you expect of this time around? :)) I love you. Oh and baby, just so you know, whenever you refuse to talk to me because you miss me in your own merajuk manja way, I find you completely adorable and soooo darn irresistible! I love you so much bi.

With lots of love, care, protection, irritatingness, and everything else good and bad of me inside,
Ian Koh Xian Jian

Friday, June 18, 2010

Is2yChiaYen-Yi

Those stories which are now once upon a time. I still feel the same way about you. Yeah they were bad times, but looky, we pulled through! Turn 5 circles and take a look at where we now stand. I couldn't be any happier. Watching HIMYM with you everyday, spending all my time with you, eating, sleeping, cooking, hanging out and watching HIMYM again :) I'm happy now that you can somehow manage to find a tinge of adorableness in me under that mess of irritatingness, that you can laugh at me and with me. And baby, it helps so much for me to know just how I can be myself completely around you. Oh what the hell. :) Hello, Post-It notes, It was hell of all hells, By the way.. they all mean so much to me. Im glad now that you know I mean it, when i say I love you.

is2ytoo.
xx

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Why, hello back.

I love you too.

Andillseeyoulater.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Dear Chia Yen-Yi


I Love You More Than Anything Else.
You Are My World. x

Thursday, May 27, 2010

You. Are. So. Amazing.

The doors closed. They gave the cue. You sang, you amazed every single person in that room :) and baby, I'm so proud of you! Gifted with multi talents, you sing, you dance, you compose, you direct. You are amazing! And bi, no matter what you do, I will always be right behind supporting you. All the way!

With you bi, I'm practically living a dream right now. A dream I've been dreaming for only so long. I'm so happy, I don't ever want to wake up. I'm loving every minute with you. I'm happy and lucky that it is you my heart belongs to. I would never have it any other way.


I love you. x
Don't you dare forget that ;)

Yours and yours only,
Ian Koh Xian Jian

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Sleep early. Wake up early. Hello tomorrow!

Here is a a glimpse of how I feel inside just thinking about your return tomorrow


You come home tomorrow! AND I CANT WAIT!! Yes, I'll most probably match the more than epic face you see in the picture above when I finally see you tomorrow. But can you blame me? I miss you like crazy! :)

Happy 1 Year 6 Months Anniversary Baby

Sweet dreams and sleep tight.
I love you. x

''AAAAHHHH TOMORROWWW!!!'' runs around frantically waving hands in the air like a madman *

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I'm Yours.


Ohmygosh I really can't help myself.

I am so in love with You!


You!


You!


You!


And though I'll miss you so terribly. Urgh I already am missing you as I type this out.. Its gonna get so damnably lonely without you here for the next three days, but I will sit here and wait for you to come home and back to me, as I wont be going anywhere. Im yours completely baby, all of me.

Today was wonderful. You were wonderful. You always are. Thank you. x


I love You Chia Yen-Yi ;)


Yours only,
Ian Koh Xian Jian

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Patrick the starfish joins us this month. :)


HAPPY 1 YEAR 5 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY BABY




I hope patrick keeps you company throughout your quiet nights and makes you smile whenever you wake up and look at him :) his starfish head. Patrick also likes to be cuddled to bed. Hehee.


I love you. x

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Another reply.

When is anyone ever old enough to find,
to believe in love?
You may say that I'm beautiful,
but i might just disagree
simply because I don't see what you do in me,
just as it goes the other way around dear.

You have taught me so much more
than just patience.
I stand proud who I am today thanks to you
for bringing out the best in me that you saw.

You find it unfair.
You find it meaningless,
to see me fall deeper and deeper into the abyss

So I'll quote your very own words ;
what you see is only by the perception of one's.

Syg that may be the way you see it,
but it isn't all that you make it out to be.
Because I see so much more beyond that.

You're beautiful and I'm happy to be in your life
I'm happy I met you,
I'm happy that I'm so in love with you,
I have never had second thoughts,
I'm happy that its you.

I'm lucky to have these wings bestowed upon me
to fly and carry you around.
It's a blessing to me
I wouldn't have it any other way :)

I'm lucky that it's you I'm in love with baby. x

A reply for a reply.

Behold who I'm giving my heart to indeed.
I am crystal clear in my actions,
it's you whom I love.

I would not want to hand it to anyone else,
because it's you I do
and so I'm happy.

An illusion as you may deem it to be.
But as how we do not see all in front of us,
these eyes have seen what others don't.
Otherwise I wouldn't be here now.

As cliche as it might sound,
you are a truly wonderful girl.
You are beautiful inside out
and no one can rob that from you.

I will tell you again dear,
my heart is certain;
it knows what it wants.

Yes I have wondered why,
on many occasions too.
Splashes, I like.

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down" - as quoted by Oprah Winfrey


:)

I love you, that's the one thing you must never doubt
goodnight. xx

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Brighter than a thousand suns.

Ill skip the fancy part
Leave those cliche breath taking parables from a love story out of the picture

All that my heart wants to deliver is a simple but most sincere and heartfelt

I miss you


Brighter than a thousand suns
You
are amazing

And that's all this post is about. x

Sunday, March 21, 2010

These colours don't run.


Pluck me like the the strings of your very own guitar
&
play me


Ahh.. It's almost easy.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I will always be here with You.

Demons will charm you with a smile for awhile
But you will not be alone
I will always be here with you
I wish to help you escape this afterlife
To help you smile effortlessly once again

I am no stranger
I care about you
The angels are weeping
Please let me shoulder some of your pain
Please let me in


No matter your decision
I will stand firm beside you
And do all that I can

I love you

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I'd kiss You if I could.

I cant stop thinking about you, it colors my day just reminiscing about how magical it was yesterday, your adorable smile and lovely eyes. Whenever I think about them, I find myself smilingggg away :)

Something like that of dipping your finger into a fondue of flowing dark chocolate, you melt my heart and have it twisted around your little finger as I sleep the nights with thoughts of you and only you. Without you here tonight, the darkness seems to creep by and it gets so lonely.

Paint a pretty picture, call me crazy, call me delusional, call me hysterical. Yes, the paradox of it all may be justifiable, but time has given us proof through bloodshed of sweat and tears. That baby, I truly do love you from the very core of my heart. For everything that you are; you will never find me amiss in your life. You are insatiable to me and if I could, I would kiss you right now.



Goodnight love. x

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Flames That Never Die.


Two and a half hours later, we find all 100s still burning strong. The intensity, that of an undying flame, flickering with the wind but never put out.

My valentine. You mean the world to me.


I love you so much,
x

Thursday, February 25, 2010



I miss you so much that your kiss might kill me

So wont you kill me tonight so I die happy


loves.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

BitterSweet

The song plays again
my tears revisit upon hearing
a more than familiar tune I'll never forget
emotions running deep as oceans
you whisper those three words in my ears once again
sweet as they sound
will they ever be heard of again
or will they simply be replayed in my head?

How can I ever forget
walking up those stairs in anticipation of seeing your smile
losing myself in those honey brown colored eyes
I was at peace with myself
a library with so much more than just books in stored
where we first walked down that path
our hands converged
and slowly too
our hearts.

I Miss You.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Open up your eyes.

Please do not hurt her anymore, she is in so much pain as it is. I cant bear to see her shed another tear, to see her stare into the distance with that look of sadness on her face. I cant stand to look at her hiding all that underlying pain and tears behind a self made mask with a smile painted on it, when deep down she is crying and screaming for someone to come save her. She puts on a fake smile to show the world that everything is alright, to show YOU that she is alright, because she thinks on your behalf and does not want to rob you of what you have. Even if it means sacrificing her happiness everyday just so you can be happy. It pains me so much to see her this way.

You were able to give her what she never had before in such a short period of time, something even I failed to accomplish. I have never seen her love anyone the way she loves you. You do not have the slightest idea of how much you mean to her. More than you can possibly imagine right now. You mean the world to her. But as much as she loves you, she is hurting equally as much over there. Tears, heartache and sorrow, that is all I ever hear and see anymore. Its been so long since I have last seen her smile wholeheartedly. The slightest thing you do prickles her heart. You don't know it, but a simple deed could make her fall in love with you all over again, yet the slightest mistake could break her fragile heart and cause her to feel so insecure.

She is a truly wonderful and amazing girl don't you think? Then why is it that you never pay any attention to what she says? Why is it that every time you say or carry out an act of redemption, at the exact moment you manage to make her feel special and that everything is going to be just perfect, you go and take it all away from her again. Why is it that your words and promises are never good? Every single time you get into a tiff with her, you say you're sorry, you say you will change, you say you promise it wont happen again. But time and time again you've only proven that the words spewed from your mouth are nothing more than just words.

The minute she trusts you and whispers she loves you, you turn your back on her and do the same shit again. I know you hurt too, but for all the reason you may hurt, she has been through that and even more.. but it never changed her love for you. So you wonder, why is she still hanging on? That's because she has never felt this way for another guy before, because she has never loved anyone this much before as how she loves you, but is this how you return the favor?

Just take a step back and look at the bigger picture, try putting yourself in her shoes for once. A relationship consists of two people, two hearts, not just one. She would give you her all. Even to the extent of giving her identity up just to keep you pleased and secure, she has lost all sense of reasoning. But would you do the same for her? Have you learned to count your blessings?

To have her love you this much, you truly are a lucky guy. Please, this is not a mere case of pain or heartache. This burden and suffering she carries is not something she can bear any longer. When she says she loves you, she means it with all her heart. I want to see her smile and be happy again. Please, don't hurt her anymore. I beg of you.