Tales of a Crestfallen Man.

It pains me to know that you've walked a great mile away from me. But at the same time, I'm glad to know you're doing well and away from the hurt and pain that we both endlessly drown in. Maybe this was my part in it all. To play my role, only to see you off into a brighter future without me as dictated by our Father himself. In you I saw forever, not knowing I was merely a piece of what would make up your life.

The scent of your perfume, the soft gentle touch of your skin, left my hair standing on ends. It was all so surreal as I took the exact road I usually did to your place. To watch you walk out that door and towards me with a beaming smile on your face. Only this time, it wasn't the same. Only this time, I never got to hug and kiss you the way I usually do the moment you step beyond that gate.

Like a guy shackled against his will as per how everyday, I pray through gritted teeth and clenched fists for the strength and wisdom to make it through the fucking day while battling the wave of emotions washing over me. A broken mess in silence, resisting temptations of caressing your face in my hand, to constrict my arms around you and feel the warmth of your body pressed against mine, to be able to kiss those lips once again. No matter how I tried, I would always pick up the bits and pieces of memories you left behind and tears would fall again.

Even after everything, I've spent countless nights with you, but only nights in dreams. With my senses sharpened, your voice, your touch, the interaction all seemed so real as I jolt up covered in beads of cold sweat finding myself searching frantically for you, only to realize you're no longer here. Its like hell replaying its scenes reminding me of what was and could have been and how I fucked up while the devil laughs and scorns away at me.

Like a Mary Jane to her Peter Parker, Betty Ross to her Bruce Banner, you are what made me human. You kept me happy in ways only you knew how, helped set my life straight, you completed and enabled me altogether, you were my everything. Yes you. For what seemed like a split second, I was able to find my way into your hands tonight as I tightly held on and gently laid a kiss. Just then, my heart stopped and for a glimpse, everything was perfect just the way it used to be.

Words fail to express the euphoria that swept over me that very moment. It was such a dream to have seen you again tonight. But like every other dream, they only prove to be true while they last. You were beautiful as always.


How I miss the days of golden sun. When we had a long, long way to go. We would run, we'd never have enough.

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her

With love,
Your Bicycle.